my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I'm just crazy horny about you
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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