Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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