Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Two words: blizzard sex
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
