It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Did you just see the Batmobile???
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
