It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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