I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
