I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
