Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
me + whiskey = a bad person
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
