its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
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