Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
