I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
