I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
