UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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