Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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