o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Randomize
