hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I think I just shit out all my problems.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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