I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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