Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
