There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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