If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Bang-toberfest begins!!
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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