when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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