So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
