YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
