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Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
