Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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