BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
