I just made out with a guy for $7.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
