I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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