Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
