Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
