i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
