3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
