So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
