i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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