Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
