We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
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