Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
