She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
