it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
