you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
