Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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