does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
