Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
