Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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