Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Randomize
