I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
