Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Someone signed my nipple.
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