i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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