I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
