What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Randomize
